One of these days, I'll realize that SOME people DO actually change.

While I was home for the weekend, the news came in that a classmate from highschool died on Friday. Apparently it was an OD. He was in and out of rehab, trying to get himself out of the cycle, but relapsed. The wake was today, and dad and his girlfriend were there, because in a small town, everybody knows everybody, particularly when the guy's father is the proprietor of one of the garages.

On my way to the (kickass) Shout Out Out Out Out show tonight, dad called me to tell me that the father told him that shortly before he passed, the classmate was asking about me.

I'm feeling very numb about this, because I don't look back fondly on most of my highschool experience. I was picked on pretty much right up to the end, which soured me on the instigators as well as the people who encouraged them by laughing. The classmate was a cool enough guy in smaller groups, but we really didn't hang out in the same circles. I remember that he always had a smile when we passed in the hall or on the street, and after highschool, we'd chat a little whenever I would bring one of my cars in (I owned three from age 17 to 22 (not all at once)) to his dad's garage, but one of his friends who also worked there (and was rumoured to have various drug problems) was always a jerk, and I think made him feel pressured to not be too nice to me, or something.

But this phone call I got. I almost didn't answer it, because of the stupid pay as you go shit. It cut me deep. To hear that someone who I considered a passing acquaintance was asking about me shortly before he died...

I really don't know how to feel.

But I think I'll use this as my inspiration to push myself into an apprenticeship. In case you didn't notice, I like cars. A lot. I also like working with my hands. I've always wanted to work on cars. I tried it once and was at a point in my life where I was too easily discouraged.

I'm going to figure out some way to do this.

This is for you, Sean.

Maxis has invaded my workplace.

Brief note before I go to sleep to get up in less than 4 hours, because I'm a moron.

They fixed the sound system at work.

It plays what is truly muzak.

Half the things it plays make me feel like a Sim while I'm rotating stock or prepping produce. I think it's the repetetive activities combined with the almost mindless light jazz.

*fwump*

Insert snarktastically clever title here.

Nothing quite makes your day like having work call up and tell you that since it's so dead and that practically no trucks came in, they don't need you. Then they asked me to come in first thing tomorrow morning and work all day. I can do a 15 hour day. No problem. But they sure as hell better give me two full half hour breaks.

Aside from a couple of rough and very grumpy days on my part last week, work is going pretty well. I'm starting to get the hang of things, even if I don't know what everything is yet.

I got my money from BouClair. Woohoo 868.48. Most of that goes to rent, then I sit on the rest until I get paid next Tuesday, at which point, I start paying people back the smaller amounts I owe. It's possible to dig yourself out of a hole, you just have to know how to go about it. (hint: DON'T DIG DOWN.)

The Town Pants are playing in Quyon, Quebec for the Halfway to St. Patrick's Day party at Gavan's, and I really really really want to go, but I'm not sure if I'll be able to GET there.

Life is threatening to overwhelm me, and I feel great. It's very wierd. It means that I'm not around online very much lately (as evidenced by the lack of posting) but it's all good.

Hopefully I can get out to the Noreen Young Bursary dinner on Saturday to see my brother recieve an award or something... whatever it is he's getting, it comes with $1000 for school. Go him! He always does stuff better than me, the little shit :P



...and four hours later, I actually POST this.